9 Secrets That Vegans Will Never Tell You

1. How excited we get when friends and family eat vegan food and love it!
2. We fake excitement when someone tells us they only eat “cage-free” eggs—and then shut that down.
3. How much we love when people make vegan food for us.
4. We pretend it’s the first time someone has asked us about protein, unlikely deserted island scenarios, and just about everything else.
5. How we act like we’re not annoyed when people apologize for eating meat. We’re not the victims, the animals are!
6. When we find out our favorite celebrity is vegan, it feels like we’re part of a secret club.
7. How hard it is to keep a straight face when you try to relate to us by saying, “I only eat chicken.”
8. We feel an instant bond when we meet another vegan. I mean, they’re probably pretty awesome!
9. Our plans for world domination.